So prevalent are relationship troubles that most of us merely accept them as the way things are. In fact, a Time magazine article in 2002 went so far as to say, “Until recently, being driven mad by others and driving others mad was known as life.”

That’s because relationship troubles are unavoidable. But how we see and handle those troubles is a matter of perspective.

The Individual Perspective

When people take an individual perspective, they assume they alone are right, that this is obvious, and that others don’t get it because they are either mad or bad. This perspective leads to blaming and waiting games that erode personal responsibility and tear at the threads of even good relationships.

The Relational Perspective

In contrast, when people take a relational perspective, they assume that others see things they miss, that reasonable people can disagree, that common ground can only be found by exploring basic differences, and therefore, it’s important to build relationships strong enough to withstand conflict and weather pressures.

While many leaders see the value of taking a relational perspective, most find it hard to do in the heat of the moment. The Elephant in the Room provides a set of tools that will help you see and shift perspective even when things get hot.

Underlying these tools is one basic framework—called the Anatomy Framework. This framework helps you see and change relationships.

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